Versus Number Eleven

AC/DC versus the Ramones

Both of these bands are in the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame and for good reason. Both of these bands also share a deserved, if not as terrible as it seems criticism- all of their songs sound the same. This censure has relegated both bands to the “second best” status of their respective genres, as Zeppelin is clearly considered the better of AC/DC and The Clash is thought as the best band to come out of the punk scene. A song-by-song comparison between two second- best Rock behemoths.

1. Most Popular Song: “You Shook Me (All Night Long)” versus “Blitzkrieg Bop”

If you pick one of these songs, you offend all the elitist music media, if you pick the other you upset all the lap-dance purveyors of America. Regardless, both of these songs are essential parts of the Rock n’ Roll canon. “Shook Me,” from AC/DC’s eight-digit-selling Back in Black has been played at least once a day on classic rock stations accompanied by lame anecdotes of messy sex, can beer, and sub-Camaro American sports cars. This was the first song that I really loved by AC/DC, being a catalyst for a love affair that has spanned two decades, but it has also proven to be the “Sweet Home Alabama” for the Aussie trouble-makers.¹ “Shook Me” does have the sing-a-long chorus, catchy guitar riff, and strut-to-it beat of a great Classic Rock song, but it is lacking the maniacal edge that made AC/DC songs want you somehow fight, fornicate with, and drink up the planet all at the same time. “Blitzkrieg Bop” is the most focused, purest example of what punk rock is. First, the lyrics are equally non-sensical and sarcastic at the same time, from the idea of a sock-hop type dance named after Nazi War strategies to the almost Motown “Hey Ho”s at the end typify the brashness of punk rock, as well as the slyness. Secondly, it completely shot a hole in the balloon of rock that was prog-rock, shooting right out of the speaker, saying what it has to say for two minutes, then quitting- it makes one wonder why so many of Pink Floyd’s songs had quarter-hour intros. Thirdly, it shows that if you know three chords and some speed, you too can be the next American Rock Institution. There are better punk rock songs out there, but “Blitzkrieg Bop” remains both iconic while still sounding modern- Winner: “Blitzkrieg Bop.”

2. Most Reflective song: “Let There Be Rock” versus “I Wanna Be Sedated”

I think the biggest complement I can give “Let there Be Rock” is that it actually sounds like it was produced, recorded, and mixed in Hell. While there are many Rock songs who love to shout about women and drugs and how doomed they may feel because of the sinful nature of mans’ desires, AC/DC decided to share similar thoughts with a fire-fringed smile as opposed to a teary frown. The opening guitar work in the song is probably faster than anything the Ramones would ever record, and that is before you hit the end progression, which I think is sound somehow laced with crack-cocaine. The lyrics, a sort of Forrest Gump-take on the history of Rock n’ Roll (I’m pretty sure Tchaikovsky had little to do with Rock music’s formation) are perfect AC/DC- loud, unfocused, and very mocking. AC/DC’s knowledge of music history might be spotty at best, but this song confirmed the group’s place- I find it hard to believe that Punk would exist without songs like this. “I Wanna Be Sedated” comes from a similar place as “Blitzkrieg Bop”- in fact, if one were to flavor-inject a Buddy Holly or Dick Dale song into the latter, the former is what you would have. While sonically comparing these two songs might show the Ramones’ most glowing weakness- most of their songs sound the exact same- looking at the lyrics shows several of the subtleties that made the Ramones the Ramones- the quickly talk-sung of “get me to the airport/ get me to the show/ Hurry, Hurry, Hurry/ Before It’s Time to Go” sounds so quickly put together that it sounds like Dee Dee and Johnny must have gotten their hands on the extra-radioactive glue before writing. While this cynical, substance-drenched ode to excess may sound like a cry for help, the simply playfulness of Joey’s voice gives it almost a Partridge Family vibe; that is, of course, if the entire Partridge family was made of Danny Bonaduces around the age of twenty-five. Both songs are great for different reasons, but AC/DC’s song is about hellraising, a much more fun topic than desire to self-sedate; not to mention the guitar work is the most stellar of AC/DC’s career- Winner: “Let There Be Rock”

3. Must underrated: “It’s a Long Way To the Top (If you Want to Rock n’ Roll)” versus “Judy is a Punk”

“Judy is a Punk” is exactly how you write a sub-two minute song. Come out guns blazing, get to chorus like it’s the last chopper out of Saigon, reiterate, stop. The song, which incorporates styles ranging from girl group clapping to Pet Sounds-esque harmonizing, is inescapably a punk song because of Joey’s dry, snarling voice and tongue out of cheek lyrics yet still distances itself from the genre because of its wave-pool harmony and beat. In a bigger sense, the song also incorporates the anguish and cathartic qualities of the Ramones that will make them an American treasure long after people forget about the Matchbox 20s of the world. This multi-layered song that somehow incorporates much of the American music canon still amazes for one reason- it still sounds incredible. Ninety-nine percent of bands’ entire musical catalogs don’t come near matching the musical excellence that these four punks from New York did in ninety-four seconds. Now, from the terse to the sprawling. Before Phish played with vaccum cleaners of Jethro Tull played with a jazz flute, Bon Scott of AC/DC played bag-pipes on music one would not think would mesh well with the traditional Celtic instrument. While “It’s a Long Way To the Top” is most certainly a mind melter of the highest sort, it also served as a blueprint- constant beat, chug-whiskey Keff chords, and anecdotal lyrics about rocking, partying, and women would be the reason AC/DC have sold in the hundreds of millions of records and recently topped 29 different international album charts with their newest album. This particular song, a pretty ordinary take on the tried-and-true “shit sucks” Rock n’ Roll lyrical motif, shows the Aussies at their most sarcastic (or snarling, depends if you think the band is capable of sarcasm). The song excels in a team-work sort of way- no instrument, including Scott’s Cowboy Killer voice and Young’s turned-to-11 guitar, ever really dominates the song, giving it a stomp-boogie quality that progresses instead of stagnates- and boy, what a progression it is. When the band finally reaches the song’s oft-mentioned top is when the bagpipes come in, and not to use a metaphor that many of my holier-than-thou English assumed about every piece of writing, but the song simply ejaculates- the prize for busting your ass- both a release in terms of you’ve crossed the line into mainstream success and dorky 70’s kids headphones, and the women inherent in being there. It’s mostly a matter of preference, as both songs dripped influence on the rock n’ roll landscape, but I think Judy is a Punk² is a more brilliantly arranged song- even though it doesn’t have bagpipes.

Conclusion: Typically when I do these articles it is about something I like versus something I am supposed to like but really hate, and the thoughts and pathetic allusions to Revenge of the Nerds and other films start to flow out of my fingers like a pop-cultured-blooded hemophiliac. Not the case this time. Not only would I place both of these bands in a Top 25-type listing of my favorites, but both bands have meant a great deal to me at different times of life, and it just seems weird to say one is superior to the other. While the bands differ almost diametrically when it comes to image, they both possess a fury and a boyish sense of fun that defines why music is the love of my life. It comes down to this- I’d rather listen to AC/DC when drinking and having a big time with friends, and I’d rather listen to the Ramones as accompaniment to my more sober adventures. Because I believe (perhaps incorrectly) my senses are sharper when sober, I have to believe my tastes should be an extension of that- hence, The Ramones take it. That being said, it is no coincidence that most of the more modern bands I like sound like a mix of these two (see here, here, and here).

1 For those of you not from the South, perhaps you have not had the as-bad-as-waterboarding pleasure of hearing “Sweet Home Alabama” at every function you’ll ever go to, but let me assure you, it blows.

2 It also might have to deal with that I didn’t want to type out the longer-than-I-remembered song title of the AC/DC song (although I am willing to type out “longer-than-I-remembered song title”)