Mencia vs. Engvall
Background:
“Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.”
- George Carlin
Well put Georgio. Stand up comedy is an art based on timing, delivery, subversism, and before we completely forget what we’re talking about, being funny. That being said, however, it is difficult to define the difference between a good stand-up comedian and one better suited to refill the gin and tonics and clean the ashtrays at your local comedy club. For instance, probably the topic that drags the most laughs out of the golden 18-31 male demographic is racial taboo and for a similarly aged girl audience, it is men’s inability to maintain an erection and his ineptitude when trying to close that damned toilet seat1. While most everybody has a very peculiar (and thus very different) sense of humor, there are clearly people who pretty much anybody from a given sample of the general population will find funny. From legends Johnny Carson and George Carlin to revolutionaries such as Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor and modern day giants like Patton Oswalt and Dave Chappelle, really good stand-up has an universal quality to it that transcends race, gender, and age2. It’s pointless to try to define why these and many, many other comedians are skilled in making people laugh. It is not pointless, however, to point out why some aren’t funny.
The convenient thing about making fun of comedians is that it is very much like making fun of musicians- the most popular tend to be the worst at it. For example, as of this posting, the top ten albums and songs in the nation are exercises in lowest common denominator mediocrity. That wasn’t a cut to those who like girlish pop music, country, or Neil Diamond, its just saying that most people who really enjoy these types of music just don’t really think about music a whole lot3. While it can be difficult to numerically define the popularity of a given stand-up comedian, typically the most famous comedians at a given time are still easy to identify- they have their own shows. And it is in this ilk that this ‘versus’ is written- who is less funny between two of the least funny people in the planet?
Let’s Fight!: Before I start, I would like to elucidate a few things. First, I realize that both of these guys, particularly with their lucrative stand-up tours and television/ DVD contracts, have more money than I can ever fathom- but the reader must appreciate that money does not equal success to me, so these guys still would have a pretty tough interview process just to clean my XBOX. Or, as the Ultimate Warrior once luminously stated “billions do not build you biceps4.” Secondly, Bill Engval could easily be replaced by a Larry the Cable Guy or any other comic with Confederate apparel, much like Carlos Mancia could be replaced with Dane Cook or anybody else who identifies wit with volume. Now let’s tear these Philistines a new orifice.
Bill Engvall: You’d think after twenty some-odd years of being a stand-up comedian, one would think of a joke funnier than how odd it is to hold your daughter’s underwear; and in the case of Bill Engvall, you’d be mistaken. Hailing from Galveston, Texas, a town where humor is as indigenous as Polar Bears5, Engvall apparently got his sense of yuckles from a house-mom who was only allowed to see the daylight between the second and third rooster calls in the dead of morning. From there, lil’ Bill decided that he too could make people laugh when commenting on how the figure on the Mr. Clean bottle is as “bald as my grandpappy” or how ironing “makes clothes straighter.” From there, the sky began to open for Engvall the Eagle, as a charming mustached man by the name of Jeff Foxworthy would swing by Texas on a tour, acknowledge that he too has a funny way of talking, and decide that they should embrace an easily-criticized Southern culture until they have enough monies to fill a Waffle House deep fryer. Learning from Sensei Foxworthy, Engvall decided he too needed a lame catchphrase and so “Here’s Your Sign” was created to the delight of children and other easily-amused people everywhere. Soon after punching the country’s collective funny bone with The Blue Comedy Tour, Bill decided to further focus his sophisticated brand of body sound humor by dipping into the film and televisions world (with a television version of Blue Comedy Tour6) with astounding success. Realizing they could conquer more moronic ground separated than together, the geniuses over at TBS decided to offer Billy-crack-corn with his own television show, appropriately titled Raining Blood7.
Seriously though, here’s some proof about how simply lame this guy is
Also, for those who can’t access youtube, a quote:
“My daughter's in school, now and she's learning these new words that she doesn't know what they mean. She'll just use them because they sound interesting. Like, one time she said to me, "Dad, I can't eat my cereal." and I said, "Well, why not?". She said, "'cause my milk's frustrating." And I hear this and now I know where Quayle has his problems, now. Wouldn't it have been great to hear the the first time he used the word "sununu" in a sentence. Yeah. "Well, George, the war had to end "sununu" or later."
And assuming you haven’t just passed out from laughter quite yet, another:
Welcome to my garage! This is where I go to get away from the Honeydew List. (as in Honey do this, honey do that...)
Garage humor? I’m sure Bill Hicks is still kicking himself for not getting after that one.
Carlos Mencia: I can’t even type those two cursed words without this popping in my tortured mind, but more on his humor about the mentally handicapped in a bit. Carlos Mencia, on paper, seems to have some potential. For instance, when Chappelle went bat-shit and decided to go to Africa, Mencia was Comedy Central’s go-to-guy for “let’s have a funny skit show with an ethnic guy as the MC.” Even some of his stand-up occasionally raises a chuckle, but this starts to make sense due to his inability not to steal other peoples’ acts. And as inexcusable as that is, then comes his “subversive” humor. Here is the drawing board of Mencia’s humor (with an asterix on what he really focuses on):
1. White People= racist*
2. Black People= thuggish*
3. Asian People= dry cleaning*, physical characteristics*8
4. Mexican People= lazy*9
5. Retarded People= stupid*
6. Gay People- act all gay like*
Now, the first thing one might rebut my argument with is my personal love of South Park, a show that is far more brutal to far more ethic groups. A fair point, but with one minor hiccup- in South Park these people are treated as part of a bigger American community, whereas in Mind of Mencia these characteristics are the extent to which the characters exist. For instance, in the “Up The Down Steroid” episode of South Park10, there are many, many jokes made about the mentally handicapped. Also on that episode, however, the focus is on Jimmy’s internal struggle to deal with his at times overly-competitive spirit and what it means to be a friend, not to mention several hilarious allusions to Rocky and Raging Bull. That is the gravitas that the creators of the show are willing to give a minor character. Carlos Mencia, on the other hand, seems to think that the only thing the retarded are good for is shouting “Dee Dee Dee”- real nice, asshole. Mencia typically defends his humor as being subversive and the things “America doesn’t want to hear.” You’re right, Carlos-the-cock-sucker, I don’t want to hear your juvenile, simplistic thoughts on prevalent issues that you defend by calling them ‘offensive.’ They’re offensive alright, but it has nothing to do with the material, it has do with the fact that you are as funny as being the dude from Seven who gets his asshole sewn shut and is literally fed to death.
So, in the end, we have two folks who are very unfunny for very different reasons. Engvall is bland, boring, and cliché-ridden11, but at least he never tries to act like something he is not and his heart does seem to be at the right place. I’m sure there are many families in the world who can relate to that sort of humor, and for that Bill, you should be acknowledged (not as funny, mind you- just for having an audience). Carlos, you might be marginally funnier than Bill, but you do it under the guise of being clever and shocking- give it up buddy, Richard Pryor was clearly funnier than you thirty years ago and he didn’t even have other subversive comedians from whom to steal. Your act is juvenile, shallow, doltish, and pointless. Your show alone has made my IQ drop at least fifteen points, and I've never watched more than ten consecutive minutes of it before. Mencia wins the terribleness award pretty easily. Winner (Loser): Mencia!
1 I assume this is why my female readership is at a stellar ‘0’
2 Although I’m not sure how many infants would get Chappelle’s ‘crack baby’ routine
3 Instead they are thinking about nerdy shit like Medicine, Banking, Engineering, Teaching, and other facets of our country that maintain its relevance
4 Pretty sure this quote is wholly irrelevant
5 This is the last true statement of this paragraph
6 Sample joke- “What’s the number to 9-1-1.” I’m not joking- even my eight year old cousin who is certainly ‘country’ by disposition knew how flat that one fell.
7 Actually, it’s just The Bill Engvall Show
8 Holy Shit! That’s two!
9 Note that Mencia is not actually Mexican, but Hondurian, and he does specify Mexicans when criticizing the entire Hispanic community- just something to chew on if you think its OK for him to make fun of “one of his own”
10 The one where Cartman decides to act retarded to win the Special Olympics, also Jimmy starts to take steroids to perform better in the Games
11 Who knew Vicodin makes you feel weird!?
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